I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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