Actions speak louder than pants.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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