Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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