She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
