My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
