she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
