I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
