So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he shaved USA in his pubs
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
