i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
