well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
