Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
