O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
