Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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