we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
