its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
