TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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