and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
