I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
