he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
