I'm lost and stupid without you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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