So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize