I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've blown a few things in my day
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
