It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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