I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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