I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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