girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
