I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
