I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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