did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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