Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
soo... how was my night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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