just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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