It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
pray to the hookup gods
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
