Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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