I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
