I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
