When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize