do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
