dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
