he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize