do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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