I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
