worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
