just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
