honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
