If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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