What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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