Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize