She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Randomize
