opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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