A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was CRYING into my vagina
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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