Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize