im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
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In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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