I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
