Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
