You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
