508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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