He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
