I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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