just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize