sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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