so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
